Sunday, February 6, 2011

New Look, Times Two!

Hey everyone!

I've been absent around these parts because I've been working on creating a brand and new "" blog page!

I've got WordPress installed, some widgets going, and lots of work still to do, but you can check out the new digs at

The reason for the changes . . . well, it kinda goes something like THIS:
  1. The Love of My Life wasn't exactly thrilled with me sharing financial woes and insight and hopes to move to a new area with the internet. So, I decided to scrub that. Gotta keep my baby happy!
  2. Photography is on the back burner right now. So, I won't be talking about that much.
  3. LOTS of people are most interested in my "Water 365 Project" and my goal to get fit and healthy.
  4. I've decided that, after having so much success with "Water 365," I will do something just like it each year. For 2012, I may go with "Happy 365," with the main goal being that I pick an inspirational or funny or useful quote and follow the instructions for a week. But 2012 is a long way from now, so I'm open to suggestions . . .
That being said, I have decided to pluck #'s 3 and 4 from the list and start a new and amazing adventure, with posts from this blog imported to my new "Diary of a Fat Woman" (so to speak!).

It's been an awesome (albeit short) run here on blogspot. Thank you to all who visited me here.

Now, please PLEASE go visit my new site (even though it's not ready yet) and SUBSCRIBE TO THE RSS FEED.

You can also follow me on Twitter from the blog's main page as well.

I'm working on a Facebook fan page too . . . So much fun to be had -- I'm super stoked!!

Thursday, January 20, 2011

In Other News . . . Plus a Weigh-in!

I exercised today!! And man, was it painful! About 30 seconds into it I actually considered turning around and just hiding in the bushes for a half hour. My left calf started to burn immediately and OH MY GOD WHAT WAS THAT PAIN IN MY RIGHT KNEE? It was pathetic. The only thing that kept me going was picturing myself in cuter workout clothes and wondering what it would be like to walk or run and NOT have my thighs rub together.

Beginning “moderate exercise” (which, in my book, is a 30-minute, two-mile brisk walk) when you’re both morbidly obese and you’ve been sedentary for the past several years is a ginormous undertaking. Please PLEASE don’t do any of this without the guidance of a real doctor. I am fortunate enough to work for a company that has a health clinic ON SITE, and all of my vitals are being monitored weekly.

Speaking of which, I have a secret to let out: I really DO know how much I weigh.

The company I work for (Pepsi) started an incentive at the beginning of the year, which required a weigh-in at the time of sign-up. And the reason why I never shared any of this with you is because I didn’t want to weigh what the Pepsi scale said I weighed – I wanted to weigh what the Wii scale said I weighed.

But being that the Pepsi scale is located in a MEDICAL OFFICE, I had to come to terms with the fact that I weighed more than I thought I did. Not easy when you’re touchy about the numbers.

So here they are, in all their splendor – my initial statistics, which were recorded by a medical professional on January 4, 2011:

Height: 5' 8 1/4"

Weight: 292.8

BMI: 44

Body Fat %: 47.0
And now, due to popular demand, are my current numbers – recorded by a medical professional on Thursday, January 20, 2011:

Height: 5' 8 1/4"

Weight: 287.2

BMI: 43.3

Body Fat %: 46.5
Less than stellar, I admit. But things are really going to get cooking in the next few weeks now that I’ve started exercising, and I’m only going to do it more often than less. At least I’m still staying with it!

I also took my first physical since HIGH SCHOOL today. Can you stand it? And talk about another pathetic showing . . . During the strength test, the doctor told me I was “not that strong.” Hilarious, considering I look like I can put on quite a show of force at 5’8” and 287 pounds. Other things I cannot do: Hop on one foot and walk putting one foot in front of the other while not looking down and holding my arms straight out to my sides. How fun is that? Not being able to pass a sobriety test when I’m SOBER?! “No, really officer. I haven’t had a drink since 2010. I know this looks bad. Really, I do . . . Can I offer you some water?” Tomorrow morning I get my blood work done, and next week I should have my results. Not sure I want to see how bad my cholesterol is, but I’d like to know how my thyroid and blood sugar levels are doing.

One more thing . . . I’ve made another adjustment to my journaling. I will track when and what I eat, along with the hunger factor, and add in when I exercise.

This getting healthy business is a little time consuming. . . but I’ll do what I have to so I can look fabulous, feel fabulous, and BE fabulous in 2011!!

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Food Tracker

I have to admit, the last couple of days have been a struggle for me. My body and I have taken on a tremendous amount of change over the past few weeks, and we’re both trying to adjust.

Tuesday (January 18), I started to write a post. Here it is, in its entirety:

Okay, so yesterday I went on this long rant about being addicted to sugar. Nothing has changed since then. Last time I checked, I still wanted a Founder’s Favorite from ColdStone. “Love it” size. In a waffle bowl.

I’ve also got an additional problem: I AM ALWAYS HUNGRY.

Well, maybe not ALWAYS. For example, I’m not hungry immediately following a meal. But it seems like just an hour or so later (sometimes less), my stomach starts to make noise.

WTF? Why is this happening? I eat good lean proteins for lunch (baked chicken sandwiches, salads with walnuts, etc.), yet for some reason I still get hungry shortly thereafter. I’m so frustrated! Why does eating healthy have to be so complicated?
Holy crap, I’m such a whiner! (Okay, well, I have a lot to whine about. Thirty eight years of eating whatever I wanted and now all the sudden I’m restricting caloric intake . . . AND alcohol! Geesh. No wonder I’m so grouchy.)

So anyway, here’s the deal.

Yesterday, after a day off of counting calories and just eating what I would normally eat lately, I discovered something quite astonishing:

I wasn’t as hungry as I had been over the past two weeks!

The only thing I did differently (besides giving myself a break from counting calories) was that I brought a sandwich in from home to eat. It wasn’t anything to write home about: Smoked turkey on Orowheat Buttermilk White, with Olive Oil mayo (instead of it’s fattier big brother “regular” mayo) and reduced fat provolone cheese. I ate the sandwich at 11:50am. Usually I get hungry again right round 1:30pm.

Here’s the thing, though – My hunger level stayed at bay until 3:00pm! I gained a whole 90 minutes of fullness! Was it the provolone? The turkey? The combination of both? Who knows.

So today (at least at the time I wrote this post, which was at 5:30am), I’ve decided to track the exact times that I ate, along with a hunger rating from 1-10 (1 being “not hungry at all”; 10 being “I’m dying over here!”). I think that tracking these elements will help me discover my hungriest times, allowing for me to make some adjustments on what I eat shortly beforehand. Does that make sense?

Anyone out there have different ideas?

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

My Kind of Crack

Ladies and gentlemen, I have been cheating.

Not on the water thing. Nope - I'm totally solid in that department.

But when it comes to sticking to a meal or weight loss plan, I totally fail.

This is what's cool about the journey, though. I see where my problem areas are, and find a way to make adjustments.

The culprit is sugar. That's easy to pinpoint.

The problem is I can't stay away from it. It's like crack to me.

Like, say, after I pick up my son from school, and stop for snacks on the way to the library, I make an abysmal attempt to get the "least impactful" chocolate bar (Is that a word? Impactful? Can someone tell me if Sarah Palin has used that yet?). Which for me, is the Nestle 100 Grand bar at 180 calories.

But then I tell myself, "Okay, does it HAVE to be the one with the least amount of calories? I'll just make sure I don't eat something to awful for dinner..." and then reach for an Almond Joy (220 calories). Then I decide I want two.

And I can't even blame it on "emotional" eating. I love going to the library with my son. It gives me time to help him with his homework and get some work done myself.

Then there are the times where I "keep some in my car" for emergencies. What the hell is a CANDY EMERGENCY, anyway? Oh, and let's not talk about the "emergency drawer" at home. It's the one place my husband and I can go to when we've so totally HAD IT with fake sweets (i.e., "100 Calorie" packs of just about anything). Last I checked, it was filled with Little Debbie Peanut Butter Crisps. Again, if someone could help me define what a "candy emergency" is, I'd totally be indebted.

ANYway...I don't know why refined sugars (candy/oreos/brownies, etc) have such a hold on me. I really don't. All I know is that, after I've eaten something fairly hearty or salty, I want sugar to "balance out the taste." Or I want it when I'm not even hungry. My hand just wanders off, patting down the backseat of my car or glove box until it finds a bag of something and grabs it. It's frustrating. Because my inner slave always gives my hand something to find.

I know I'm a lifelong slave to sugar. I never met a brownie, cookie, ice cream treat, or candy bar that I didn't immediately fall in love with.

So, how do I adjust? Does anyone have an idea? I'm totally in new territory here. I know for sure that cutting out the soda and sugary sweet alcoholic drinks has done my body a TREMENDOUS favor, but why can't I shake the desire for sugar in all the wrong places?

It's like I need the Dr. Phil for sweets to do an intervention. Is there such a person? Dr. Oz, perhaps? Can anyone get him on the line?


In the mean time, I am vowing to keep a food journal. Beginning today, I started keeping track of EVERYTHING (and I mean EVERYTHING) that went into my mouth. I once read where a girl said, "If you bite it, write it." I wish I can remember who said it, because I'm going to live it. It's got to have some sort of impact on me - seeing how many calories I consume in a day JUST FROM STUPID CRAP LIKE REFINED SUGARY SNACKS. I have to stop hiding from the truth. Because in the end, the numbers don't lie.

It's probably the only way I can kick sugar in its white, refined, grainy ass.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

I'm a TV Star!

Okay, well, maybe not a STAR, but I was on TV nonetheless!

The whole experience was an absolute BLAST. As you can tell, the on air talent is fun and engaging and I was made to feel most welcome.

I'll be back soon with another personal video. In the mean time, enjoy this segment! (Which is incorrectly titled "No More Water." But I am SO not going to complain!)

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Still Here . . .

Hey all!

Wow. I let some time slip away there, didn't I?!

Had some technical difficulties with scales; first, my "so totally scientific scale" (A.K.A. the Wii Fit Board) stopped working, so I couldn't do an official weigh in.

Then, the scale I ordered from Amazon arrived. Broken.

So, I have absolutely no idea how much weight I've lost.

But I can tell you that I've not had a sip of soda, coffee, juice, or alcohol since my last post, and I'm still on a weight loss plan.

Speaking of "plan," I've been considering abandoning Weight Watchers. While counting points is easy, calculating them and keeping track of them is not. I'm not saying that the math is hard, I'm just saying that I don't have that kind of time. Converting recipes to the WW system, then substituting ingredients, then trying to figure out how many people the recipe serves, then figuring out fat/carb/protein/fiber content and converting it to a set of points is a bit much for me.

Instead, I am considering the old-fashioned route of counting calories.

I've discovered this amazing podcast called "Fat to Fit Radio." The experts at the site have devised a system that allows you to input some personal fitness data, and it spits out a baseline number of calories you should consume in a day for your fitness level and goal weight. It's an awesome tool. (Called the "BMR.") According to the information I entered, my personal BMR is 1,790 calories. This is based on the fact that I am currently sedentary (meaning little or no exercise, with a desk job). When I begin routine workouts and strength training, the BMR goes up to over 2,000 calories.

Which means that, with using the BMR and counting calories, all I'd have to do is take a notebook, enter "1,790" at the top of the page, and start a running total for the day. I like that much better than having to pull out a calculator and figure out the points value of food items.

Getting to your goal weight is all about finding what works for YOU. I'm still experimenting, but once I find something I like, it'll be easier for me to stick with. And I'll get the results I want! I'm sure it will be the same for you. What have YOU been doing to get fit lately? :)

One more thing before I go:

If you live in the Northern California area, and are with signal range of this television station, please tune in this Saturday (January 15) in the 9:00am hour. I will be on with one of their awesome reporters discussing my "Water Only for an Entire Year" challenge and what I am doing to get my family healthy in 2011. Can you stand it?!! I'm so stoked!! (PS: Don't pay attention to how messy my house is. We're already prepping items and boxes for our impending move. Even though we haven't found a house yet!)

If you don't get the station signal but are still interested in watching, their website carries a live streaming feed. I'll also be posting the video from the segment and photos of the event once it's over. How exciting!!!

Until next time . . .

Look fabulous. Feel fabulous. BE fabulous.


Wednesday, January 5, 2011

It All Started With Underoos

Happy Wednesday, everyone!

Last night I started to write a blog post addressing a couple of questions I've received since I started toward my health & fitness goals, then I realized I could just take it to the flip cam!

If you're not interested in viewing, the short version of the story is this:
  1. No, I am not pregnant. I'm drinking water only for a year (for thirst) to lose weight and get healthy, not because I'm legally required to do it for an unborn baby's sake. Sheesh. :)
  2. Thank you for all of your kind words and comments. If you're going to take the time to visit me, I encourage you to give feedback and submit questions. I was on Spicoli's side -- If I'm here, and you're here, this is OUR time. So make the best of it. Ask me anything you want, and I'll address it. Scout's honor.
  3. Renee in Missouri asked me if I could remember when I first realized I was fat. My answer was when I was six . . . I wanted (and got) a pair of "Underoos" (seriously -- I can't believe I admitted that to the world), and since they were two-piece, you can only imagine what I looked like. Six years old, so totally not height/weight proportionate. My mom took a picture. My family got a big laugh. Then when I saw the photo I realized I didn't look like the girl on the package. Crying ensues.
There you have it! :)

But I really encourage you to watch the video. If you are anything like me, then you'll definitely relate.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

An Emotional Testimony

Wow -- thank you to everyone who has subscribed to my YouTube channel, posted comments here on the blog, and sent me notes of encouragement via email. I am truly thankful for your kind words; you have no idea how motivating they are!

Today I'd like to address the number one question I receive when I first tell someone that I have decided to give up soda, Starbuck's, alcohol, and soda for an entire year. And that question is: "Why?!"

As in, why would I give up all the creature comforts that make everyone else so happy? How could I possibly turn my back on the things that millions profess that they JUST CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT?? How about this:
  1. I'll save at least $1,000 alone in kicking my Starbucks habit. ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS. That's $20 per week for 52 weeks. I used to go four times per week, and spend $5 per visit. And that was just on "coffee," and does not include what I spent in addition to the drinks, such as a muffin or scone. How much a week do YOU spend on Starbucks? Why don't you just write me a check for $1,000? At least I'll put it to good use . . .
  2. Since we're talking about Starbucks, I'll address what I used to drink four times per week: A "Double Venti, Extra Hot White Mocha with Whipped Cream." Seriously. And I wonder why I'm so frigging fat? Try this on for size: That drink contains 450 calories, 22 grams of fat, and 53 grams of carbs. If you're a point-counter, that's a 13-point drink. Which is more points than a McDonald's Sausage Egg McMuffin!
  3. About the alcohol . . . I was more than your average casual drinker. I'd go out for cocktails a couple of times per week, as well as indulge at home. I won't even begin to try to count calories on that one, I just know that (a) I'll be saving an additional $200 per month on drink bills and BevMo receipts and (b) I'll be doing my liver a HUGE favor.
  4. I hate my teeth. They're yellow and I've always had problems with cavities. Know why? Because I was addicted to soda. Hopefully kicking my soda habit will brighten my smile as well as reduce my waist size!
Last, but not least: How about, "I'm just tired of being fat."

Nothing more, nothing less.

I'm tired of people looking PAST ME, not at me. I'm tired of how being morbidly obese makes me feel. I'm tired of pretending that I'm happy with shopping at one store because they're the only one who carries my size in anything that looks halfway decent.

Why can't "I'm tired of being fat" be a good reason to drink only water for a whole year? Why can't people understand that I'm not crazy, I'm not pregnant, and I'm not broke? Is everyone so brainwashed that they can't process the fact that there are people in the world who really CAN live without Starbucks and going out for drinks?


My husband and I have always taught our kids that life is about choices. You can choose to be happy or sad, grateful or selfish, and fit or fat. In the past, I always chose fat, because it was the easy thing to do. It was what everyone else did, right? Easy is awesome.

And after 38 years of choosing easy, I'm learning how difficult it is to re-train my way of thinking.

Not a day goes by where I don't wish I could be drinking a Pepsi. Or a "Double Venti, Extra Hot White Mocha with Whipped Cream." Or a Raspberry Lemon Drop.

I say to myself, "No one will know. You can just have one Pepsi. Or one little cocktail . . . and nobody will be the wiser.

But somewhere between choosing easy and choosing fit, I grew a conscience.

I'll know that I did it. I'll know that I broke down and had some Liquid Satan. And I just can't do that to all those who received a personal guarantee that I'd finish. Or most importantly, to myself.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Weigh-in Sunday #1 -- January 2, 2011

Hello, everyone! It's Weigh-In Sunday!!

I weighed myself at 9:30am this morning, and I am SUPER HAPPY to report that I have lost 4.5 pounds!! Can you stand it? The video is below to support my claim. However, I'm not sure why the Wii Fit recording system stated that I'd gained 14.5 pounds. Maybe they're still going off the last goal I had. Who knows.

I am quite sure that when I weighed myself last week, it read "294." So, I'm going with it. The video I shot this morning now proves I weigh 289.5 pounds. Which is nothing to be proud of, but shedding almost 5 pounds without really doing much but avoiding soda and staying within my Weight Watchers points balance is pretty damn cool.

My youngest son and I are going to go shopping today for a new workout DVD, since he got hold of the last one and scratched it up so bad that it almost killed our DVD player. I may look into the Jillian Michales Wii Ultimate Fitness game too . . . Or, for more fun, Wii Dance Party . . . :)

Oh! I almost forgot! I've also uploaded my First Official "Before" Photos.

UGH. How I let myself get this way . . . .

Anyhoo, they're over on the "Visual Progress" page. I'll post those monthly as I continue towards my goal to lose 135 pounds before I turn 40.

As you can tell by the photos, I've got a LONG way to go, but I'm motivated . . . LET'S DO THIS!

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Happy New Year, Everyone!

Woo hoo! I hope your New Years' Eve was as fun as mine. I got to spend it eating a "one last hurrah" dinner with my husband (including cocktails) before heading out to watch fireworks with he and my two sons. AWESOME way to close the book on 2010.

So, about 2011 . . .


Or, I'm at least trying to be.

For some reason, (the one last "hurrah" meal, maybe?) my stomach is a little "knotty" and I am crazy tired today. But, I stood by my promise to go water-only and stay within my Weight Watchers points allotment. Which is a HUGE success. In the mean time, I feel like all I could really do is lay around, read my new "Self" magazine and weight loss books, and then sleep. ALL DAY.

Which means I have no motivation whatsoever to exercise. But that won't last long . . . I'm sure of it!!

Oh! And I know I promised a picture, but I'm holding off until tomorrow.

Tomorrow is my first official weigh-in after dropping soda and most of the alcohol from my bloodstream. (Or, as I like to say, "There's blood in my alcohol stream!") Moving forward, I will videotape all of my weigh-ins so that you know I'm being honest.

I will also take the "Before" pictures tomorrow, and post them on a new page called "Visual Progress." Then, on the first Sunday of the month before a weigh-in (weigh-ins will be weekly), I will take a picture and post it to the progress page to track how I look from week to week.

I will try to wear the same shirt and shorts every time, and try to take the picture in the same spot of the house, so that when comparing them side-by-side (or from top to bottom), the results are easier to spot.

What do you think? Should I be doing something differently? Have I motivated anyone to try to drink water only for one year?

Come ON!! I need some accountability partners . . . :)

By the way, I will also be posting about my other goals (finances, photography, family, etc) in the future. "A Better Second Half" is about making life changes, which include weight loss and good health. But, those are only part of the whole plan!