In Other News . . . Plus a Weigh-in!

I exercised today!! And man, was it painful! About 30 seconds into it I actually considered turning around and just hiding in the bushes for a half hour. My left calf started to burn immediately and OH MY GOD WHAT WAS THAT PAIN IN MY RIGHT KNEE? It was pathetic. The only thing that kept me going was picturing myself in cuter workout clothes and wondering what it would be like to walk or run and NOT have my thighs rub together.

Beginning “moderate exercise” (which, in my book, is a 30-minute, two-mile brisk walk) when you’re both morbidly obese and you’ve been sedentary for the past several years is a ginormous undertaking. Please PLEASE don’t do any of this without the guidance of a real doctor. I am fortunate enough to work for a company that has a health clinic ON SITE, and all of my vitals are being monitored weekly.

Speaking of which, I have a secret to let out: I really DO know how much I weigh.

The company I work for (Pepsi) started an incentive at the beginning of the year, which required a weigh-in at the time of sign-up. And the reason why I never shared any of this with you is because I didn’t want to weigh what the Pepsi scale said I weighed – I wanted to weigh what the Wii scale said I weighed.

But being that the Pepsi scale is located in a MEDICAL OFFICE, I had to come to terms with the fact that I weighed more than I thought I did. Not easy when you’re touchy about the numbers.

So here they are, in all their splendor – my initial statistics, which were recorded by a medical professional on January 4, 2011:

Height: 5' 8 1/4"

Weight: 292.8

BMI: 44

Body Fat %: 47.0

And now, due to popular demand, are my current numbers – recorded by a medical professional on Thursday, January 20, 2011:

Height: 5' 8 1/4"

Weight: 287.2

BMI: 43.3

Body Fat %: 46.5

Less than stellar, I admit. But things are really going to get cooking in the next few weeks now that I’ve started exercising, and I’m only going to do it more often than less. At least I’m still staying with it!

I also took my first physical since HIGH SCHOOL today. Can you stand it? And talk about another pathetic showing . . . During the strength test, the doctor told me I was “not that strong.” Hilarious, considering I look like I can put on quite a show of force at 5’8” and 287 pounds. Other things I cannot do: Hop on one foot and walk putting one foot in front of the other while not looking down and holding my arms straight out to my sides. How fun is that? Not being able to pass a sobriety test when I’m SOBER?! “No, really officer. I haven’t had a drink since 2010. I know this looks bad. Really, I do . . . Can I offer you some water?” Tomorrow morning I get my blood work done, and next week I should have my results. Not sure I want to see how bad my cholesterol is, but I’d like to know how my thyroid and blood sugar levels are doing.

One more thing . . . I’ve made another adjustment to my journaling. I will track when and what I eat, along with the hunger factor, and add in when I exercise.

This getting healthy business is a little time consuming. . . but I’ll do what I have to so I can look fabulous, feel fabulous, and BE fabulous in 2011!!

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Food Tracker

I have to admit, the last couple of days have been a struggle for me. My body and I have taken on a tremendous amount of change over the past few weeks, and we’re both trying to adjust.

Tuesday (January 18), I started to write a post. Here it is, in its entirety:

Okay, so yesterday I went on this long rant about being addicted to sugar. Nothing has changed since then. Last time I checked, I still wanted a Founder’s Favorite from ColdStone. “Love it” size. In a waffle bowl.

I’ve also got an additional problem: I AM ALWAYS HUNGRY.

Well, maybe not ALWAYS. For example, I’m not hungry immediately following a meal. But it seems like just an hour or so later (sometimes less), my stomach starts to make noise.

WTF? Why is this happening? I eat good lean proteins for lunch (baked chicken sandwiches, salads with walnuts, etc.), yet for some reason I still get hungry shortly thereafter. I’m so frustrated! Why does eating healthy have to be so complicated?

Holy crap, I’m such a whiner! (Okay, well, I have a lot to whine about. Thirty eight years of eating whatever I wanted and now all the sudden I’m restricting caloric intake . . . AND alcohol! Geesh. No wonder I’m so grouchy.)

So anyway, here’s the deal.

Yesterday, after a day off of counting calories and just eating what I would normally eat lately, I discovered something quite astonishing:

I wasn’t as hungry as I had been over the past two weeks!

The only thing I did differently (besides giving myself a break from counting calories) was that I brought a sandwich in from home to eat. It wasn’t anything to write home about: Smoked turkey on Orowheat Buttermilk White, with Olive Oil mayo (instead of it’s fattier big brother “regular” mayo) and reduced fat provolone cheese. I ate the sandwich at 11:50am. Usually I get hungry again right round 1:30pm.

Here’s the thing, though – My hunger level stayed at bay until 3:00pm! I gained a whole 90 minutes of fullness! Was it the provolone? The turkey? The combination of both? Who knows.

So today (at least at the time I wrote this post, which was at 5:30am), I’ve decided to track the exact times that I ate, along with a hunger rating from 1-10 (1 being “not hungry at all”; 10 being “I’m dying over here!”). I think that tracking these elements will help me discover my hungriest times, allowing for me to make some adjustments on what I eat shortly beforehand. Does that make sense?

Anyone out there have different ideas?

My Kind of Crack

Ladies and gentlemen, I have been cheating.

Not on the water thing. Nope - I'm totally solid in that department.

But when it comes to sticking to a meal or weight loss plan, I totally fail.

This is what's cool about the journey, though. I see where my problem areas are, and find a way to make adjustments.

The culprit is sugar. That's easy to pinpoint.

The problem is I can't stay away from it. It's like crack to me.

Like, say, after I pick up my son from school, and stop for snacks on the way to the library, I make an abysmal attempt to get the "least impactful" chocolate bar (Is that a word? Impactful? Can someone tell me if Sarah Palin has used that yet?). Which for me, is the Nestle 100 Grand bar at 180 calories.

But then I tell myself, "Okay, does it HAVE to be the one with the least amount of calories? I'll just make sure I don't eat something to awful for dinner..." and then reach for an Almond Joy (220 calories). Then I decide I want two.

And I can't even blame it on "emotional" eating. I love going to the library with my son. It gives me time to help him with his homework and get some work done myself.

Then there are the times where I "keep some in my car" for emergencies. What the hell is a CANDY EMERGENCY, anyway? Oh, and let's not talk about the "emergency drawer" at home. It's the one place my husband and I can go to when we've so totally HAD IT with fake sweets (i.e., "100 Calorie" packs of just about anything). Last I checked, it was filled with Little Debbie Peanut Butter Crisps. Again, if someone could help me define what a "candy emergency" is, I'd totally be indebted.

ANYway...I don't know why refined sugars (candy/oreos/brownies, etc) have such a hold on me. I really don't. All I know is that, after I've eaten something fairly hearty or salty, I want sugar to "balance out the taste." Or I want it when I'm not even hungry. My hand just wanders off, patting down the backseat of my car or glove box until it finds a bag of something and grabs it. It's frustrating. Because my inner slave always gives my hand something to find.

I know I'm a lifelong slave to sugar. I never met a brownie, cookie, ice cream treat, or candy bar that I didn't immediately fall in love with.

So, how do I adjust? Does anyone have an idea? I'm totally in new territory here. I know for sure that cutting out the soda and sugary sweet alcoholic drinks has done my body a TREMENDOUS favor, but why can't I shake the desire for sugar in all the wrong places?

It's like I need the Dr. Phil for sweets to do an intervention. Is there such a person? Dr. Oz, perhaps? Can anyone get him on the line?

*Sigh*

In the mean time, I am vowing to keep a food journal. Beginning today, I started keeping track of EVERYTHING (and I mean EVERYTHING) that went into my mouth. I once read where a girl said, "If you bite it, write it." I wish I can remember who said it, because I'm going to live it. It's got to have some sort of impact on me - seeing how many calories I consume in a day JUST FROM STUPID CRAP LIKE REFINED SUGARY SNACKS. I have to stop hiding from the truth. Because in the end, the numbers don't lie.

It's probably the only way I can kick sugar in its white, refined, grainy ass.

Happy New Year, Everyone!

Woo hoo! I hope your New Years' Eve was as fun as mine. I got to spend it eating a "one last hurrah" dinner with my husband (including cocktails) before heading out to watch fireworks with he and my two sons. AWESOME way to close the book on 2010.

So, about 2011 . . .

I. Am. PUMPED.

Or, I'm at least trying to be.

For some reason, (the one last "hurrah" meal, maybe?) my stomach is a little "knotty" and I am crazy tired today. But, I stood by my promise to go water-only and stay within my Weight Watchers points allotment. Which is a HUGE success. In the mean time, I feel like all I could really do is lay around, read my new "Self" magazine and weight loss books, and then sleep. ALL DAY.

Which means I have no motivation whatsoever to exercise. But that won't last long . . . I'm sure of it!!

Oh! And I know I promised a picture, but I'm holding off until tomorrow.

Tomorrow is my first official weigh-in after dropping soda and most of the alcohol from my bloodstream. (Or, as I like to say, "There's blood in my alcohol stream!") Moving forward, I will videotape all of my weigh-ins so that you know I'm being honest.

I will also take the "Before" pictures tomorrow, and post them on a new page called "Visual Progress." Then, on the first Sunday of the month before a weigh-in (weigh-ins will be weekly), I will take a picture and post it to the progress page to track how I look from week to week.

I will try to wear the same shirt and shorts every time, and try to take the picture in the same spot of the house, so that when comparing them side-by-side (or from top to bottom), the results are easier to spot.

What do you think? Should I be doing something differently? Have I motivated anyone to try to drink water only for one year?

Come ON!! I need some accountability partners . . . :)

By the way, I will also be posting about my other goals (finances, photography, family, etc) in the future. "A Better Second Half" is about making life changes, which include weight loss and good health. But, those are only part of the whole plan!

Wake Up Call

We all get one.

A wake up call.

You know -- that something that brings your attention to the one task (or for me, a list of tasks) that you need to get done in order to avoid DEATH.

Okay, so maybe not all of the tasks I've got to get done will help me avoid death. But the first one is sure to keep death away. And diabetes. And heart disease. And cancer.

I'm 38 years old. I've got two children and a wonderful husband. And if I don't lose weight soon, I may not live to see 40.

I've always had a weight problem. The only time in my life when I was not obese was high school, and the one year immediately following.

Between then and now, I've lost weight, gained it back plus more, and so on and so on, at least 8 times.

I've tried weight loss programs, weight loss "strips," and read tons of weight management books.

Yet, here I am, nearly 135 pounds overweight.

And at my age, losing that kind of weight is not easy.

I had definitely planned on "getting back into shape" after the new year. But something happened today that made me get my ass off the couch and put a plan into action.

We bought our kids a new Wii game for Christmas -- "Kids Dance Party" to be exact.

And I could barely finish ONE SONG before feeling light headed and winded.

One song.

"Funkytown."

And if that wasn't bad enough, I decided to bust out the Wii Fit board and weigh myself for the first time in months.

Weight: 294 pounds

Seriously.

It's the most I've EVER WEIGHED. Ever.

No wonder I always feel like crap. And my clothes don't fit. And I can't sleep.

So here I am, at the very beginning of a long journey. It became so important to me that I couldn't wait until January 1 to begin. I had to start NOW.

I've spent the first half of my life being stupid. Period. There is no other way to describe it.

I eat like a pig. I drink like a sailor. And I spend money when I shouldn't.

The second half of my life will be better.

I will look fabulous. Feel fabulous. Be a fabulous wife and mom. And a fabulous CEO of my own house and finances.

This is the first of many posts. I've started this blog because I need it for accountability and a point of reference. I also needed a way to share my experiences with other people who have started or need to start the same journey as me.

One more thing: You wouldn't go somewhere you've never been before with out a map, right? Well, I've never been HERE before. (I've been at the start of a weight loss goal, but NEVER at this weight, and it's never been more important than now. So technically, this is a "different" journey. A new trip.) So, I mapped out a plan and put it on THIS PAGE.

I've also set up a page that tracks progress. First, it will track progress of my weight loss goal. From there, I will also track progress of the other tasks on my "List" page. Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither will this blog. It will always be evolving and expanding!

That's it for today.

Tomorrow will be better.